TEG-BlueI say yes when I want to say something else.
Explore what you wanted or needed, what you actually said, and whether concern about someone’s reaction influenced your answer.
Explore people-pleasingEmotional understanding in everyday life
Tools for understanding emotional and relationship patterns.
Why do I sometimes say yes before I know what I want? Why is it easier to say what I need with some people than with others? And what makes an apology meaningful?
TEG-Blue offers free tools and examples to explore everyday emotions and relationships. You can reflect on your own choices and reactions, compare someone else’s actions across situations, or read examples without answering questions.
Start with something you recognise—or something you’re curious about. Take your time, and leave room for what you don’t yet know.
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- English and Spanish
What would you like to understand?
Choose a question that feels familiar. It doesn’t have to describe your situation exactly.
They apologised, but I’m not sure what changed.
Look at whether they acknowledge what they did, listen to the person affected and follow the apology with action to address the harm.
Look at what follows an apologyThey call it a boundary, but I feel pressured to agree.
Compare what they say they will do with what they insist you must do. Look at how they have responded when you disagreed or said no.
Explore boundaries and controlI’d like to understand what taking responsibility looks like.
Read examples of how people acknowledge their actions, respond to the effects and follow through with change. Compare the descriptions without answering questions.
Read examples of taking responsibilityHave a different question in mind?
Browse all the tools →Understanding ourselves in context
You may find it easy to say what you need with one person and difficult with another. Exploring that difference can involve looking at what you feel, what you expect, what you have experienced and what happens in each relationship.
TEG-Blue brings together perspectives from research on emotions, nervous-system responses, development and relationships. Its evolving framework explores how these processes connect, using visual explanations and practical tools to make the ideas easier to examine in everyday life.
Our purpose is to help you notice distinctions, consider different explanations and ask questions that deepen your understanding.
We don’t tell people what their experiences mean. We give them the language and understanding to explore those experiences for themselves.
The practical tools are here on teg-blue.com. You can explore the framework, its research sources and the questions still being investigated on teg-blue.org.
Begin with the question you have today.
Choose a tool that interests you—whether you’re exploring your own reactions, trying to understand a relationship or following your curiosity.
Work through the questions or begin by reading examples. Take your time, and leave room for what you’re still discovering.
Not sure where to begin? Find a place to start →
- Free to use
- No account needed