Emotional and relationship tools

Start with the question you are already asking.

Find a tool to reflect on your own responses, compare someone else’s behaviour or understand a pattern such as people-pleasing or emotional control.

All 17 tools are free to use without an account. They support reflection; they do not diagnose anyone or decide what you should do.

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What would you like to understand?

Choose a question to open a tool, or browse all tools by subject below.

Do they take responsibility when they apologise?How are rules and authority being used?Is it a boundary—or control?Can I express my needs and limits?What happens when they get angry?How does expressing a need differ from demanding that someone meet it?

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Find a tool by subject

Try a subject such as apologies, boundaries, anger or people-pleasing.

3 Tools

Repair and accountability

How people acknowledge harm, act on their values and follow through after an apology.

ApologiesSomeone else’s behaviourDo They Take Responsibility When They Apologise?Compare whether they acknowledge what they did, listen to the person affected and take action after apologising.OpenAccountabilityExplanations and examplesAccountability Gradient ScaleExplore how people respond after causing harm: addressing it, defending themselves, using an apology to demand reassurance, or denying the harm and punishing anyone who raises it.OpenIntegrityExplanations and examplesIntegrity Gradient ScaleExplore when people act on their values, stop following them under pressure, or invoke them to avoid criticism and justify control.Open

5 Tools

Boundaries, harm, and control

How people set limits, use authority and respond when someone disagrees or says no.

BoundariesSomeone else’s behaviourHow Do They Handle Boundaries?Compare how they set limits and respond to yours, from clear agreements to pressure, threats or punishment.OpenBoundaries and controlSomeone else’s behaviourIs It a Boundary—or Control?Examine whether someone’s limit sets out what they will do or dictates what you must do, and how they respond when you disagree.OpenCare and controlExplanations and examplesControl–Care Gradient ScaleExplore how rules, care and authority can support autonomy, become restrictive, apply emotional pressure or enforce obedience.OpenExpectations of othersExplanations and examplesEntitlement Gradient ScaleExplore the difference between recognising personal needs and claiming a right to another person’s time, care or obedience.OpenDistance after conflictSomeone else’s behaviourIs This Space for Processing—or Pressure to Give In?Examine what happens when someone takes distance after a conflict: can the issue be discussed later, or must you give in before they will speak to you?Open

3 Tools

People-pleasing and self-confidence

Consider how you express your needs, or how someone responds to disagreement, mistakes and other people’s achievements.

People-pleasingYour own responsesAm I People-Pleasing?Explore whether you can express your needs and limits, or often agree or stay quiet to avoid disapproval or conflict.OpenConfidenceSomeone else’s behaviourDoes Their Confidence Make Room for Other People?Compare their responses to other people’s achievements, to criticism and to their own mistakes.OpenCertainty and disagreementExplanations and examplesConfidence Gradient ScaleExplore how people express confidence: acknowledging what they do not know, insisting they are right, claiming superiority or intimidating others.Open

6 Tools

Emotions and relationships

How people respond to feelings, offer support and handle conflict.

Emotional maturitySomeone else’s behaviourSigns of Emotional MaturityReview what you have observed when they receive feedback, make a mistake, disagree or need to repair harm.OpenSupport and respectSomeone else’s behaviourWhich Supportive Behaviors Keep Showing Up?Plant green flags on supportive behavior you have seen repeatedly or sometimes. Review listening, choices and responsibility separately.OpenPressure in relationshipsSomeone else’s behaviourWhich Harmful Pressures Keep Showing Up?Plant red flags on pressure you have observed around disagreement, limits, independence and repair. Empty spaces remain unknown.OpenSupport and pressureSomeone else’s behaviourWhat Do the Green and Red Flags Show Together?Read supportive behavior and harmful pressure side by side in the same relationship. Green flags do not cancel red flags.OpenEmpathyExplanations and examplesEmpathy Gradient ScaleExplore how people respond to feelings: listening with care, dismissing some experiences, making support conditional or using private information to threaten someone.OpenAngerSomeone else’s behaviourWhat Happens When They Get Angry?Compare how they express anger, respond to disagreement and take responsibility for what they do during and after a conflict.Open

Quick answers

How to choose a tool and what it can help you understand.

Which tool should I start with?

Choose a question near the top of this page, or search for a subject such as apologies, boundaries or people-pleasing. Each tool description explains what you can examine.

Do I need to know TEG-Blue first?

No. Each tool includes its own explanation, examples and instructions. You can open any tool and use it on its own.

Are these tools free?

Yes. All 17 tools in this library are currently free to use without an account.

Can a tool diagnose me or someone else?

No. The tools help you reflect on your responses, compare behaviour or understand a pattern. They cannot establish a diagnosis, confirm someone’s motives or decide what you should do.