How Safety Shapes Everything

We don't stay the same person in every situation.

The four modes are the measuring units that show where our nervous system is pointing — not personality types, but states we move through.

THE SYSTEM BEHIND

The Emotional Tools and Circuit Board measure patterns. This is where those measurements come from.

Tools·BoardCompassMap

Where is the nervous system landing?

Our Inner Compass reflects where we are right now — not as a fixed type, but as a living gradient that shifts moment to moment based on how safe we feel.

Connectionmode
Protectionmode
Controlmode
Dominationmode
Safety → Empathy → Repair

Regulation through connection.

The nervous system settles. Empathy comes online. Thinking becomes flexible. Repair is possible.

perception
Wide and open — we can see nua...
emotions
Full range available — we can ...
empathy
Fully online — we can sense an...
behaviors
Flexible and adaptive — many o...
repair
Available — we can acknowledge...

Full detail grid available with Inner Compass

State determines capacity. What someone can perceive, feel, think, and do depends on where their nervous system lands.

CONNECTION & PROTECTIONAdaptive States
Adaptive States

Where the nervous system responds appropriately to safety and threat signals.

Safety → Empathy → Repair
Feels like

"Present. Grounded. Open. Able to listen without defending."

What's available
  • +Wide perception — we notice more
  • +Full emotional range

🔒and 3 more — available with Inner Compass

🔒Explore Connection modeCompass
Threat → Defense → Narrowing
Feels like

"Alert. Reactive. Guarded. Ready to defend or escape."

What's available
  • +Focused attention on danger
  • +Quick reactions

🔒and 5 more — available with Inner Compass

🔒Explore Protection modeCompass
CONTROL & DOMINATIONStuck States
Stuck States

Where the nervous system has organized around chronic threat, losing flexibility.

Insecurity → Control → Distortion
Feels like

"Calculating. Guarded. Managing. Watching for angles."

What's available
  • +Strategic thinking
  • +Ability to predict and plan

🔒and 5 more — available with Inner Compass

🔒Explore Control modeCompass
Power → Entitlement → Harm
Feels like

"Entitled. Certain. Unable to feel the harm being caused."

What's available
  • +Certainty
  • +Sense of control through power

🔒and 5 more — available with Inner Compass

🔒Explore Domination modeCompass

A core insight from the Inner Compass

"Empathy doesn't disappear because someone is a bad person. It narrows — or goes offline — when the nervous system no longer feels safe enough to hold another person's experience."

This single idea reframes every confusing relationship dynamic: why someone who was once warm became cold, why some people can't hear you no matter how clearly you speak, and why you sometimes shut down in ways that surprise even yourself.

Key Insights

What changes when you understand nervous system states

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Self-awareness is the key

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It's a gradient, not boxes

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It removes moral judgment

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It's grounded in neuroscience

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It explains why empathy disappears

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Two lenses: You and They

What each mode page covers

Each of the four modes unfolds into a detailed exploration

What opens upCapacities available in this state
How we know we're hereInternal signals and body cues
What others experienceThe relational impact of each mode
How emotions functionWhat feelings are possible (and impossible)
Why it becomes unavailableWhat blocks access to this state
How it becomes available againPathways back toward safety
What it is notCommon confusions clarified
Cross-referencesConnections to Map levels and tools

Unlock the full Inner Compass

4 detailed mode pages, each with 7+ sections explaining how the nervous system works in that state — what opens, what closes, and what to do about it.

4 mode deep-dives5 capacity dimensions4 key insightsCross-references to Map & Tools
Start Inner Compass — €49/year

Includes everything in Starter tier (€39/year)

Inner Compass — Part of the TEG-Blue System